Nobody Needs Me the Way They Used To. Now What?

I’ve been thinking about something lately.
Actually... I’ve been hearing it over and over from my clients.

The kids are older.
The house is quieter.
Life finally slowed down...
and instead of feeling excited...
they feel lost.

Not all of them use that word.
Some tell me they feel lazy.
Some tell me they can’t get themselves to start anything.
Some say,

“I know this is my time now. I know I should finally start taking care of myself... I just don’t even know where to begin.”

And every single time I hear it, I think...
Of course you don’t.
Because for the last twenty or thirty years, your life had a built-in purpose.

Someone always needed you.

Being Needed Isn’t the Same as Having a Purpose

Now, before you think I’m writing this because I’m sitting in a corner crying with nothing to do... 😂
Not even close.
I absolutely know my purpose.
I love coaching.
I love writing.
I genuinely love what I do.

I block my mornings for my clients, I create content, I work on my business...
And I wouldn’t trade this life for anything.

But...
There are still afternoons when I close my laptop, walk into the kitchen and think...

“Well... now what?”

Not because I don’t have anything to do.

Trust me.
The laundry somehow still manages to reproduce when nobody is looking.
How is that even possible?

And that’s when it hit me.
I don’t think we’ve been missing purpose.
I think we’ve confused being needed with having one.
Those are two completely different things.

Nobody Prepared Us for This Part

For years...
someone needed us every five minutes.

“Mom... where are my shoes?”
“Can you take me here?”
“What’s for dinner?”
“Did you sign the form?”
“Can you...”
“Can you...”
“Can you...”

And one day...
it just... slows down.
Not overnight.
Little by little.

Until you realize nobody has asked you where their favorite blue shirt is in three weeks.

It’s weird.
Beautiful...
but weird.

I honestly think this is why so many women suddenly believe they’re lazy.
I don’t think they’re lazy at all.
I think they’re standing in a season they’ve never lived before.

Everyone teaches us how to raise children.
Nobody teaches us how to meet ourselves again.

The Pantry Has Never Been So Organized

And here’s the funny part...
Remember all those years when we said,

“I can’t wait until I finally have time for myself.”

Well...
Now we have the time.
And what do we do?
Organize a drawer.

Research the best vacuum on Amazon.
Rearrange the pantry.
Clean the baseboards that nobody has looked at since 2018.

Anything...
except ask ourselves the one question that actually matters.

What would actually make me excited to wake up tomorrow?

Maybe You’re Not Lazy

I think that’s the real reason so many women stay stuck.
Not because they don’t know they should work out.
Or eat better.
Or start the business.
Or travel.
Or take the art class.

They already know all that.
They’re waiting to feel ready.
But maybe readiness isn’t coming.
Maybe curiosity is.

One thing I’ve learned from coaching women is this...
The hardest part isn’t changing your habits.
It’s giving yourself permission to stop measuring your worth by how useful you are to everyone else.
That takes time.

Because for decades...
being useful became our identity.

This Might Be the Beginning

Maybe that’s why this season feels so uncomfortable.
Not because something is wrong with you.
Because nobody is handing you a purpose anymore.
You get to choose one.
And honestly...
that’s equal parts terrifying...
and exciting.

So if you’ve been calling yourself lazy lately...
Can I gently challenge that?
What if you’re not lazy?
What if you’re simply learning how to build a life that isn’t based on who needs you...
but on who you want to become?

Those are two very different lives.
And I have a feeling...
the second one might end up being your favorite.
Because somewhere underneath all the carpools, permission slips, grocery lists, soccer practices, laundry, and making sure everyone else was okay...
there’s still a woman waiting to ask herself,

“Now that I finally have the time... what sounds fun?”

And maybe...
that’s exactly where this next chapter begins.

If this felt like I was reading your mind, I want you to know something.
You’re not behind.
You’re not lazy.
You’re not “too late.”
You’re simply standing in a chapter nobody prepared us for.

And maybe...
it ends up being the chapter where you finally get to meet yourself.

Until next Sunday,

Gaby