ARE YOU ADDICTED TO DRAMA — OR JUST USED TO IT?

The other day, I was working out.
Not thinking about content.
Not trying to come up with anything deep.

Just moving my body.

And out of nowhere, this thought dropped in.

You know when you look at someone’s life from the outside and think...
Why do they keep going back to the same mess?

The same gossip.
The same stress.
The same complaints.

Year after year.

Nothing actually changes.

And at some point, you start wondering...
Is it really bad luck?
Or do they love this feeling?

I don’t mean that in a mean way.
I mean it honestly.

Because sometimes it looks like people are almost attached to the complications.

THIS ISN’T ABOUT DRAMA

Let me say this first.

This isn’t about being dramatic.
It’s not about being toxic.
And it’s definitely not about being weak.

Most people aren’t addicted to drama.

They’re just used to how it feels in their body.

And there’s a big difference.

HOW THE BRAIN ACTUALLY WORKS

Here’s the part most people don’t realize.

The brain doesn’t chase happiness.
It chases familiarity.

Its job is to keep you safe.
And “safe” usually means:
I know this.
I’ve been here before.
I understand this feeling.

So if someone grew up with stress, chaos, emotional intensity, or constant problem-solving... that becomes their baseline.

Calm doesn’t feel calm.
It feels strange.
Sometimes boring.
Sometimes even unsafe.

So the mind looks for something to react to.

WHEN STRESS AND COMPLAINING BECOME COMFORT

This is where it gets interesting.

Complaining can actually regulate the nervous system.
Gossip can feel like connection.
Retelling the same stressful story gives the body a familiar chemical hit.

It gives you something to talk about.
Something to bond over.
Something to feel activated by.

So the person isn’t really trying to fix the problem.

They’re trying to return to a familiar emotional state.

That’s why you hear the same stories for years.

WHY NOTHING EVER CHANGES

Here’s the part most people don’t want to look at.

If the story changed, the identity would have to change too.

Who am I if I’m not struggling?
What do I talk about if there’s no crisis?
Who am I if things are actually okay?

For some people, peace feels like losing themselves.

So the mind quietly pulls them back to what it knows.

Not because they want to suffer —
but because it feels familiar.

WHY THIS SHOWS UP EVEN MORE DURING THE HOLIDAYS

The holidays turn the volume way up.

Family dynamics.
Old roles.
Old conversations.
Old emotional patterns.

You can almost watch people step right back into who they used to be...
without even noticing it’s happening.

And maybe — if you’re honest —
you’ve seen a version of this in yourself too.

THIS ISN’T A FLAW

This part matters.

This isn’t something to judge.
It’s something to notice.

The nervous system repeats what it knows —
until it’s taught something new.

That’s it.

A DIFFERENT QUESTION TO ASK YOURSELF

Instead of asking,
What’s wrong with me?

Try asking:
What feels familiar to my body?
What emotional state do I keep returning to?
What would happen if calm didn’t feel boring?

Because change doesn’t start with forcing yourself to be different.

It starts with understanding
why you keep going back to the same place.

And sometimes...
the clarity really does come when you’re doing something completely unrelated.

Moving your body.
Breathing.
Not trying so hard.

The body knows things the mind hasn’t caught up to yet.

With love,
Gaby