Sometimes the problem isn't that we don't know what we want. It's that we're trying to do everything at once.
I've been mentally exhausted lately. And I mean freaking exhausted.
Not necessarily because I've been doing so much physically, but because of everything I've had going on in my head. So many things I want to accomplish, things I need to get done, ideas I want to work on, things around the house, things for my family, things for myself.
And somehow, they were all demanding my attention at the same time.
I would start doing one thing, remember something else, stop what I was doing, take care of that, and then remember another thing. Or I would be sitting at my desk trying to concentrate, and my mind would already be thinking about what I needed to do later.
And the funny thing is that I thought I was being productive. I thought I was getting ahead because, you know, if something only takes two minutes, why not get it done now?
Except those two minutes kept turning into another two minutes, and another, and another.
By the end of the day, I had done a hundred little things, but I couldn't even tell you what I had actually accomplished. I just knew I was exhausted.
And I started feeling lost.
I wasn't lost. My attention was everywhere.
I had to really think about what was happening because feeling lost didn't make sense to me.
I know what I want. I've spent a lot of time figuring that out. I know the kind of life I want to live, the things I want to experience, the work I want to do, and how I want to feel while I'm doing all of it.
My vision hasn't changed.
So why was I feeling like I had no direction?
And then I realized something. I wasn't lacking direction. I was trying to go in too many directions at the same time.
Everything I was thinking about was connected to something I wanted. That's what made it so difficult to put anything aside. None of it felt unimportant.
But just because something is important doesn't mean it needs my attention right now.
I think that's where I was getting myself into trouble.
You can't put every piece of the puzzle in at once.
I've always believed that everything starts with a vision. You have to have some idea of the life you're trying to create. Not necessarily every little detail, because life changes and so do we, but you need something to work toward.
Then you have goals that support that vision. And those goals require habits, routines, and choices that you make in your everyday life.
That's how I see it.
But lately, I was looking at all those goals, habits, routines, ideas, and plans as if they all needed to happen together.
And I started thinking about a puzzle.
Imagine you have this beautiful picture you're trying to put together. You have all the pieces spread out in front of you. You know what the finished picture is supposed to look like, and you know that eventually you'll need all those pieces to complete it.
But right now, you're working on one little section.
You don't need every piece on the table. You need the one that fits in that particular space.
And once you've found it, you move on to the next one.
That's what I wasn't doing.
I was trying to grab pieces from everywhere, even when they had nothing to do with the part I was working on.
No wonder my mind was tired.
And here's the thing. Putting one goal first doesn't mean giving up on the others. It doesn't mean forgetting everything else you want or deciding that those things aren't important anymore.
It just means choosing where you're going to put your energy first.
Maybe right now it's your health. Maybe it's getting your finances organized. Maybe it's creating a better routine at home, starting something you've been putting off, or simply getting back into the habit of taking care of yourself.
Whatever it is, choose something that moves you toward the bigger life you want.
Work on that. Build the habits that support it. Give yourself a chance to make some progress before you start pulling yourself in another direction.
And then there's everything we do in a day.
This is where I started noticing how ridiculous I was being with myself.
Let's say I'm working out. I'm doing my exercises, counting my repetitions, and suddenly I remember something I need to do for work. Or that I should put a load of laundry in. Or that I forgot to answer someone.
So now I'm physically working out, but mentally I'm somewhere else.
Why?
I set that time aside to exercise. Why can't I just be there, concentrate on my muscles, pay attention to what I'm doing, push through those last few repetitions, and actually enjoy the fact that I'm doing something good for myself?
The laundry can wait.
And then let's say I have a Zoom meeting. I can prepare for it, get my notes together, sit down, and give that meeting my attention. I don't need to be thinking about the kitchen or what I'm making for dinner while someone is talking to me.
When the meeting is finished, I can look at what's next.
It sounds so simple, doesn't it?
But think about how often we do the opposite.
We're cooking and thinking about work. We're working and thinking about cleaning. We're cleaning and thinking about an appointment. We're at the appointment and thinking about everything waiting for us at home.
And sometimes we're the ones creating the interruptions.
I'll be doing something and suddenly think, oh, let me just vacuum this little area. It'll only take a minute.
But then I notice something else that needs cleaning. Then I remember I wanted to organize a drawer. And before I know it, I've completely abandoned what I was originally doing.
All because I couldn't leave something alone for five minutes.
I'm laughing as I write this because I know exactly how I am.
But I'm also realizing how much energy I've been wasting this way.
Maybe everything doesn't need to happen today.
I'm not saying we should ignore responsibilities or pretend that life is always going to cooperate with our plans.
We have families, homes, jobs, appointments, and people who need us. Things come up.
Some days you really do have to juggle ten different things, and there's not much you can do about it.
But I do think we make some days harder than they need to be.
We have this habit of treating everything that comes into our minds as something that needs to be taken care of immediately.
And it doesn't.
I can write something down and come back to it. I can leave the vacuum where it is. I can have an idea for my business without stopping everything to work on it that very second.
I can finish what I'm doing.
And I can also decide that I've done enough for the day, even if there are still things on my list.
I'm trying to be more intentional about where I put my attention. Not just with my big goals, but with ordinary things too.
If I'm having coffee, I want to enjoy my coffee. If I'm exercising, I want to concentrate on my workout. If I'm working on something important, I want to give it the time and attention it deserves.
And when I'm done, I can move on.
I don't need to mentally live the next five hours before I even get there.
I'm still figuring this out.
I don't want to give you the impression that I've suddenly mastered this. I haven't.
I still catch myself trying to do three things at once. I still get distracted by something that wasn't even on my list. And I still have moments when I feel overwhelmed by everything I want to accomplish.
But now, when I notice that happening, I'm trying to ask myself a different question.
What am I actually supposed to be focusing on right now?
Not what else could I get done. Not what am I forgetting. Not what should I be working on tomorrow.
Just what deserves my attention right now.
Because I haven't lost sight of the life I want. I still have the same big dreams, the same ideas, and the same things I want to experience and accomplish.
I just don't have to chase every single one of them today.
And maybe that's something worth thinking about if you've been feeling a little lost or mentally exhausted yourself.
Before you start questioning your direction, take a look at how many different directions you're trying to go in at once.
Maybe you don't need another goal, another plan, or another routine.
Maybe you just need to pick one piece of the puzzle and give yourself the time to put it where it belongs.
The rest will still be there when you're ready for it.
Let me ask you something. How often do you find yourself doing one thing while your mind is already on the next five?
With so much love, always …
GABY